


The Cream Of The Crop

by TheMusicalPaws



Series: Ironic Sentai Erotica [1]
Category: Uchu Sentai Kyuranger, uchuu sentai kyuranger
Genre: Multi, but 11 pm is the best time to write absolute nonsense, there's definitely gonna be more, you know i should be going to bed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 07:56:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8970856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMusicalPaws/pseuds/TheMusicalPaws
Summary: A collection of random headcanons for Kyuranger because hey! If we don't know jack about the series yet then it can't be OOC! We have Fun here.Probably gonna continue during the series too if i'm motivated (sleep deprived) enough!





	1. The D Club

**Author's Note:**

> So far the information i hold about Gold and Silver is that Gold is (maybe) an android! And that Gold and Silver are partners!  
> I made a headcanon that Gold is embarrassing bc they wear a bunch of Gold Sequin/glitter.  
> In fact i got this info a day after i made a joke headcanon about Gold and Silver having a D Club!  
> If you're wondering what a D Club is:  
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fI-2YC78Z80&feature=youtu.be

"I don't understand," Tenbingold yelled out.

"You showed me **your dick**! You even let me **touch it**!"

HebitsukaiSilver turned their head towards Gold. Their face completely red.

"I told you to **never** bring up the D Club again, Gold! And you **BROKE INTO MY ROOM** and laid on my bed in **SEQUIN GOLD LINGERIE.** Where did you get that anyway????"

Gold walked up to Silver and placed a hand on their shoulder, looking directly into Silver's eyes.   
"I have done my research on the 'D Club' ritual and found this attire to be completely appropriate."

It was Easy for Silver to forget that Gold was an android. And was completely unaware of their customs. Silver was slightly embarrassed. But yet again Gold was embarrassing too. They constantly worse Sequin Gold. Silver was pretty sure they saw them eat an entire jar of gold glitter once. Idiot. A small smile crept up on Silver's face.

_His idiot..._

Silver was snapped out of their thoughts when Gold placed a hand on their forehead suddenly spoke up again. Concern written all over their face  
"Silver? Bud you alright? You're burning up."

Silver took Gold's hand into their own and brought it up to their mouth and gave it a kiss.  
"Yeah, Silver. Sorry, I'm fine. Especially when _i'm with you._ "


	2. Green as Leafs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off my headcanon that ChameleonGreen constantly shoves herself into random (and typically small places) to sleep despite having a giant room herself.  
> Also that WashiPink is the only one who can remove her from there and that KajikiYellow has a Garden and is overprotective of it.

WashiPink walked into the Billard Room "Has anyone seen Chameleongreen lately?"

ShishiRed turned away from their current game of Pool with OokamiBlue (who was losing). One of the games Pink believed they uses to distract themselves from their constant reminder that their life is meaningless and nothing is real. Like she thought all others did like her.

Red seemed to be confused by her question, "No? I thought she was with you?" Red then proceeded to knock another two balls in getting an annoyed growl from Blue.

Ookamiblue took a breath before attempting to hit a ball in. "You know Green, she's probably crammed in some small closure like usual. Sleeping." Blue then missed the hole completely.

Red tried to stifle a laugh when Blue looked like they were about the brake the pool stick in half.  
But then Blue grabbed red by their shirt. "YOU GOT SOMETHING FUNNY WISE GUY," Blue's eyes narrowed, "OR DID YA RIG THIS GAME?!?!?" Red was unable to hold their laughter.

Pink set out to find Green before she had to witness Blue trying (and failing) to kill Red over something petty, again.

Pink looked around the usual spots Green would be sleeping in. The cabinets, her mecha cockpit, under tables, the bathtub.

She was about to give up before KajikiYellow burst through the door, furious.

They walked up to pink and pointed towards the door they entered from. "GET. HER. OUT."

Pink just gave them a confused look, "Who? Where?"

Yellow was not in the mood and grabbed Pink's wrist and dragged her into the Garden he was oh so protective of. But why did he-  
oh.

And there She saw Chameleongreen, sleeping in Yellow's prized stingray bush sculpture. She looked as though nothing in the world was wrong. She always loved how peaceful Green looked like that.

Pink hadn't realized that her face clearly expressed what she was thinking.

"Enough swooning!" Yellow pulled Pink back into reality, "I know you're the only one who can remove her from her weird sleeping places! Get Her Out!"

Pink shook her head and spread her robotic wings and began to soar. When she reached the top, where her dear green rest, she gently gave her a nudge.

"Wake up sleepy head~" Pink cooed.

If it were anyone else Green would of certainly panicked and refused to leave. But it was different with Pink. There was something between them the two of them hadn't want to acknowledge just yet. A spark.

"Mmh mornin' Pink," Green spoke sleepily, as she gently wrapped her arms around Pink.

Pink lifted her off the Bush and when they got back down to land Pink was holding Green Bridal style. Green cuddled closer into Pink's shoulder and let out a sigh. Green was really only comfortable around Pink.

Yellow kicked them out of their Garden not too soon after.


	3. The misadventures and misunderstanding of Human interactions 1. Glitter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Morning in the Gold/Silver household. Balance Doesn't understand how Coffee works. Or maybe he's just a jerk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We found out characters names! And that 4/9 Kyurangers are not human!

Balance watched as the figure emerged from the room he shares with him. As he made his way over to coffee maker Rei could feel a pair of eyes watching.

"You enjoying the view Balance?" Rei turned and leaned against the counter. Making eye contact with the other.

If he had a regular mouth it'd curl into a smirk "As always my dear~"

Rei rolled his eyes with a smirk on his face. He turned back to the coffee maker.   
Small quiet moments these were difficult to get but Balance knew that he'd ever be the only one who'd get to see Rei out of his usual stoic self.

"I already made some."

Rei turned his head back to Balance. Only now noticing the mug that was across from Balance. Has that been there the whole time?  
Rei walked over and took the mug. But not before leaving a small peck on the top of his head.

"Thank you."

Before he took a sip he notice the....shimmer....

"Why...did you put...Glitter in this..." Rei looked up from the mug and turned his glare towards Balance.

"Aesthetic purposes of course." Balance spoke in a snide voice.

The Jerk. Ruining a perfectly good coffee. Rei sighed and made his way over to the sink and poured the tainted, glimmering, liquid into the drain.  
Typical Balance.


	4. The misadventures and misunderstanding of Human interactions 2. Braids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laputa does not understand feelings. Or the fact that she's gay for Hammy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm tired.  
> Her name is Hammy.

As she failed at another braid, Hammy swore. Hearing her dear human's frustration, Laputa popped her head into the room.

"Do you require some assistance, Hammy?"

Hammy sighed, "Yeah that'd be nice."

Hammy moved over a bit on the bed to allow Laputa to get in a good position. Laputa just kinda...stood there. Hammy pat on the bed and Laputa nodded understanding.

Laputa sat down behind Hammy, "What would you like me to do?"

"Could you just, braid it for me?"

Laputa nodded, "I understand."

She grabbed the green brush from the side and began to brush put Hammy's hair. Laputa was glad she had sensors built into her, Hammy's hair was always to silky.

After a few more minutes of brushing Laputa spoke up again,  
"What kind of braid would you like? There's Fishtail, French, Upside down, Milkmaid-"

Hammy Interrupted "Just-a regular three strand one."

Laputa nodded "Understood!"

Hammy wasn't very fond of this kind of intimacy. Laputa made notes on how she seemed to dislike the others touching her. Even a simple surprised pat on the back from Garu was enough to make her anxious. Just like a Chameleon...filled with Constant anxiety...  
But it was always different with Laputa...

"Laputa?" Hammy's voice snapped Laputa back into reality.

Strange, She never doses off like this. Usually she's very focus on the task in front of her. Something about Hammy's presence always seems to trigger this kind of reaction. Laputa made note of it. Maybe it was an error in her coding.

"Yes, Hammy?"

"If your done then you need to pin it-"

"Understood!"

Before Hammy could fully understand what was happening, she was already pinned to the bed by Laputa. And being straddled by her. Hammy was too flustered and surprised for words.

"Hammy I 'pinned' like you requested! Hammy? Hammy you are not responding. Your skin also feels abnormally warm, especially your face! Are you sick?"

"What?? N-no! Laputa this isn't what i meant!"

Laputa cocked her head in confusion "You said to pin?"

"I meant the braid Laputa!"

It suddenly struck Laputa. She misunderstood Hammy's command. Maybe there really was an error in her coding? Laputa got off Hammy and sat with her fists curled onto her lap. Trying to process what her error is.

"I-I feel...Feel...." What did she feel? Anger? Sadness? She couldn't quite comprehend.

Hammy sat back up "Embarrassed?"  
Laputa's head shot up as if she just figured out the answer to life.

"Yes! That!" Laputa got off the bed and stood to face Hammy.

Laputa Bowed "I apologize for my behavior Hammy! I am very embarrassed by it! Now your braid is ruined too! I understand if you wish to not see me again!"

Hammy got up and embraced Laputa "No it's fine. And It's just a braid."


	5. The misadventures and misunderstanding of Human interactions 3. Too Cute!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah. Anuzzer day in the Red/Blue household. Garu is like a big spoiled puppy who wants attention. Lucky is a busy man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know my own Dog, Dora, gets jealous whenever i give another dog attention?   
> Anyway Garu is a blue dog furry that looks like a hobo that's constantly on the verge of tears and i'm super tired.

Ah yes. Another day back at Lucky's place. Garu was excited to 'hang out' (that's the term Lucky used right?) with Lucky whenever he could! Lucky was a busy man. And kind enough to let someone like Garu stay at his place when he had nowhere to go! He was so excited his tail wagged and his heart beat a mile an hour!

As he made his way through the hall he saw Lucky watching a show on the tv. Garu could make out the name "Too Cute!"

"Good morning human Lucky!" Garu spoked up, and gave him a scare.

"Good morning to you too Garu. And it's just Lucky." he patted the seat next to him, signaling Garu to sit next to him. And so he did.

On the screen small creatures that shared similar features to Garu were on the screen. The show called them "Puppies".

 _What strange tiny things they are! They can barely even open their eyes! Ha! How weak!_ Garu turned to tell Lucky all this. But was met with how mesmerized Lucky was by all of the puppies. He awed at them. Even the bigger ones which were called "Dogs".

Garu felt his heart drop at this. He suddenly got up and walked back to his room, ignoring Lucky calling his name and curled up on himself on his bed.

Why was he so upset by the human finding these small creatures 'cute'? The more important question was why the human didn't look at him like that. Was it his clothes? His fat? The constant sadness in his soulful eyes? His luscious hair? What was it?!?

As Lucky opened the door Garu pulled the blanket over himself. "Garu? You alright buddy?"

"..."

"Garu i know you're there."

"..."

"Hm...guess i gotta eat all these treats myself then."

Garu shot up "Treats?!?!"

"I knew you were there." Lucky sat beside him.

Garu realized he was played like a damn fiddle and laid back down "Go watch your dumb show. Since i can't ever be anything like those pathetic beans. What do you see in them anyway? They can't even open their eyes!"

Lucky began to laugh "Garu- Dude. We're- you- you really getting jealous over the show? Garu trust me," Lucky leaned over to wrap his arms around Garu, "You're Too Cuter than them."


	6. The misadventures and misunderstanding of Human interactions 3. Laundry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Champ you egotistical fool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no idea how to execute this idea.  
> Last chapter until i disappear for an undecided amount of time 'till i get inspiration again.

"You fool!" Champ's voice echoed through the room, "A simple red cloth isn't enough to get me, The Great Champ, to act on his impulse!"

Spada placed the red fabric onto the laundry pile completely un-phased. And continued folding the red clothing.

But Champ still went on

"Try as you might! But you're simple heads cannot comprehend the awesomeness of Champ!"

Spada sighed and turned to look Champ in the eyes.

"The Great Champ needs to shut up and actually help his comrades with their chores for once."


	7. StingerxChamp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stinger is a jerk

Champ picks up Stinger and shoves him into a locker.


End file.
